“It’s not the critic that counts. It’s not the man who points out where the strong man stumbled. Credit belongs to the man in the area, his face marred in dust, sweat and blood who strives valiantly, who comes up short time and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming. It is actually the man who strives to do the deeds, who knows the great enthusiasm and great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause who at best, knows in the end the triumph of great achievement. And at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place will never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”
Day 24 Morning Scorecard and Tribe Self-Reflection:
The Brain’s Delusional Rejection Response
Ever wonder what other people are thinking about at a party: Well… it’s not much different then what you’re thinking about.
The brain hates social rejection as much as it hates physical pain. In fact, the area of the brain where pain is registered, which is called the Anterior Cingulate Cortex, is also activated when we feel social rejection. Hence why the cliches “love hurts” and they “broke my heart” resonate so highly with humans. To our ancestors, rejection from the tribe literally meant death. So through the evolutionary process, the brain started to give social rejection the same magnitude of attention as intense physical pain. Of course, in today’s world the results of rejection are not the same, but try explaining that to any teenager in the world who feels left out. Our outdated programming may seem ridiculous from the outside, but the emotional turmoil it produces on the inside is very real. To protect us from this pain, we need to teach ourselves to accept rejection as part of life and convince our brains that rejection doesn’t equal a death sentence. Many of us eventually learn this naturally after repeated romantic breakups or changing jobs for the fifth time. However, some people fast track this process by going through a "rejection cleanse," where they just ask for things they likely won't get. One gentleman went into a fast food joint and asked for a "burger refill," only to get promptly asked to leave. This social rejection was probably uncomfortable but he taught his brain that he could survive when he rolled the dice. The brain may have some funny quirks but it can adapt to new information, so put yourself out on a limb and risk a little awkwardness, the rewards may be well worth it.
FACT: After World War Two, England set up numerous “mental health facilities” to help citizens overcome the shock and awe of the “blitzkreig” bombings of London. However, it turns out most of these hospitals sat empty because the citizens were not only mentally unscathed but more confident that they could get through anything.
TAKEAWAY: Getting through tough experiences in what makes us able to get through future tough experiences.
Laughing Meditation
In India, they have laughing meditation classes where big groups of people just get together and start laughing. In the beginning, it starts out as awkward and forced but by the end everyone is having a grand old time, for basically no reason at all. In today’s world, it seems we always need a reason to be happy, whether it's because we just got a promotion or saw a funny movie. In many places, however, just being alive is enough of a reason to smile. When you limit yourself to “needing” a reason to smile that drastically cuts down on your chances of having a good time. Life is pretty amusing all the time, so start using the smile lines nature gave you!
FACT: Children smile on average 400 times per day, adults smile on average 40 times per day.
TAKEAWAY: Kids get it right, we should be more like them. Adults may have more to worry about, but that’s all the more reason to lighten up and laugh at what life throws at us.
“You’ve got to dance like there’s nobody watching. Love like you’ll never be hurt. Sing like there’s nobody listening. Live like it’s heaven on earth.”